


A Collection of the Magi and his Emperor

by orsaverba



Category: Magi: The Labyrinth of Magic
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe, JuhakuWeek2015, M/M, None of the fics are connected.
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-09
Updated: 2015-05-09
Packaged: 2018-03-29 18:34:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 14,688
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3906484
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orsaverba/pseuds/orsaverba
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>[ JuHaku Week 2015 ] </p><p>In which in many cases, they keep being drawn together.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Childhood

**Author's Note:**

> There is artwork to accompany this first fic located [here](http://orsa-verba.tumblr.com/post/110926931355/chiekahakuen-juhaku-week-2015-day-1).

“Kissing?”

To five year old Hakuryuu, it came as a surprise that, of all people, Judal did not seem to know what kissing was. The older boy seemed to know everything about anything, from why the sun shone to where cook hid sweets before dinner.

“You’ve never been kissed?” Hakuryuu asked curiously, looking up at the boy, perched on a tree branch as usual.

“No. Have you?” Judal returned.

“Of course! Mother and big sister give me kisses all the time.”

“I don’t have a mother, remember?”

Oh. No, he had forgotten, honestly. You couldn’t much blame him, Hakuryuu was only five and the thought that some little boys out there didn’t have two big strong older brothers and a kind older sister and a mother and father sort of baffled him at times. Especially Judal. Judal seemed like the type to have a smiling mother and a tall father who carried him around a lot.

He didn’t though. But for the young prince, the true depth of sadness to that fact was easily brushed aside.

“Well someone must give you kisses.” Hakuryuu insisted.

Judal shook his head, then paused and peered down at the younger boy.

“Tell me what a kiss is, then maybe I’ll know if someone gave me one.” he said. “Maybe there’s just another word for it.”

For a moment Hakuryuu scrunched up his face in thought. He didn’t _think_ there was another word for a kiss… But what would he know, he was only five. Hakuyuu would know, but he wasn’t there just then.

The small boy huffed to himself, thinking of how to tell the other what a kiss was, but gave up quickly. His vocabulary didn’t quite have the words to convey it and frankly, even so, it was a little hard to put into words.

“I’d have to show you.” he said, looking back up at Judal.

“Does it hurt?”

“No, of course not!”

“Is it gross?”

“Sometimes, but I promise it won’t be.”

“…Okay.”

The Magi shifted his weight and lightly leapt down from the tree, landing on his feet like it was the easiest thing in the world. Hakuryuu knew for a fact if he ever tried the same thing he’d probably end up hurting himself, but that was just another thing that made Judal different from other people.

Judal settled himself beside Hakuryuu on the grass, tucking his knees up against his chest and looking over at the prince with those big, ruby eyes of his. Some people seemed to find his eyes disturbing, but personally, Hakuryuu thought they were very pretty.

“So how do you give someone a kiss?” Judal asked, still sounding curious.

“Well it’s different every time, cause there’s a lot of different kinds of kisses.”

“Well what’s your favorite kind?”

Hakuryuu paused to think about this a moment, frowning to himself. Hmm his favorite kind of kisses… Probably the sweet ones Hakuei gave him before bed or whenever she felt like giving him affection, which was pretty often. Yes, that seemed like a good kind of kiss to give Judal.

So, with that in mind, the small prince leaned over and briefly pressed his lips against the Magi’s cheek. It was a quick little peck, and he pulled back with a victorious smile once the action was completed. Judal however, blinked rapidly and raised his sleeve covered hand to rub at the assaulted cheek.

“What was that for??” he asked, sounding equal parts unsure and mystified.

“That was a kiss!”

“What, that’s it???”

“Yeah! That’s the kind of kiss Hakuei gives me.”

Judal stopped rubbing at his cheek and let his sleeve fall back away from his hand. Pale knuckles rubbed at his skin instead, eyes flicking down as he seemed to think about it.

“…Can you do it again? I think I missed it.”

“Sure!”

And he did, to the same cheek as before, though he kept his lips there a little longer just to be sure the older boy felt the pressure before he sat back again. This time, rather than rubbing at his cheek, Judal just touched the spot the prince had kissed with his fingertips.

“That’s all?” he said. “Really?”

“Mmhm.”

“Well I can do that.”

As if to prove this very point, he leaned over and pressed his lips to Hakuryuu’s cheek, holding still a few seconds and then pulling away. Dark hair tickled the prince’s cheek and he laughed, rubbing at the spot Judal had kissed with the back of his hand.

“Did I do it wrong?”

“No! That was fine!” Hakuryuu stifled another giggle. “I just wasn’t expecting it that’s all!”

“Why not? You gave me one, shouldn’t I give you one too?”

Well—Yes actually, now that Hakuryuu thought about it, that did make sense. But he felt he hadn’t quite explained a kiss properly, or why it had surprised him Judal gave him one back.

“You give kisses like that to people who you really really like, or care a lot about!” he explained. “Hakuei says you give kisses to people who’re special to you.”

Judal nodded, and you could almost see him cataloging this information away for later.

“So you gave me a kiss cause you like me?”

“Yeah! And cause I care about you.” Hakuryuu beamed at the apparently startled Magi.

“Oh… Okay.” Judal seemed to come to some sort of mental conclusion and, without further prompting, leaned over and kisses Hakuryuu’s cheek a second time.

“Hey!” the prince squeaked, cheeks tinting pink at the sudden affection. “What was that for?!”

“You said kisses are for people who’re special to you! You’re special to me so I’m giving you a kiss!”

All this succeeds in doing is making the prince’s cheeks flush a little darker, but it also makes him smile. As far as he’s aware, Judal doesn’t really call most people special, and he definitely hasn’t ever given anyone a kiss before. A little part of Hakuryuu selfishly hopes he doesn’t now that he knows what they are.

“What other kinds of kisses are there? You said there was more right?”

Hakuryuu nodded, rubbing his cheek again and, as most children do, dismissing his previous thoughts completely.

“Yeah but I’ve only ever seen the other kind.” he said. “Hakuei says it’s a kiss adults give each other when they wanna be together.”

Judal tilted his head, which usually meant he was interested in whatever someone was saying, and Hakuryuu elaborated.

“Mother and father do it! Instead of your cheek or forehead, you kiss each other here.”

He pointed at his lips and Judal blinked rapidly.

“What, on the mouth?? Wouldn’t that feel weird?”

“How should I know? No one’s ever kissed me like that!”

“Well—Ah! Hey you’re blushing again!”

“I am not!”

“Are too!”

Judal poked the smaller boy’s cheek and Hakuryuu batted him away, rubbing at his cheeks and pouting. Hakuren always said he had an expressive face and it was easy to read his feelings, which seemed to be the case.

“Don’t tease me! It’s embarrassing okay!”

“Adult kisses are? Why?”

“Cause they’re special! It means you wanna be together for a really long time!”

Like a mother and father were supposed to be! Except he didn’t add that because Judal didn’t have a mother or a father so he probably wouldn’t get what that meant.

“Why’s that embarrassing??”

Hakuryuu puffed out his cheeks and averted his eyes to the ground. He fisted his hands on his knees, shifting slightly as he tried to work up the courage necessary to mumble;

“Cause I wanna try an adult kiss.”

With his head lowered, Hakuryuu completely missed the fact that Judal went from his usually pale pallor to almost the same color as his eyes. He looked down, thinking hard for a few long moments. In that context, he could understand why it would be embarrassing. Maybe he should just leave the topic alone.

But Hakuryuu had been the one to bring up kissing, probably to get to this topic to begin with, so it was probably something that was weighing on him a lot. And Judal didn’t like it when things bothered Hakuryuu.

“…Well…I mean…” he mumbled at last, toying with the frilled end of his sleeve. “Why… don’t we try?”

Hakuryuu’s head jerked up.

“What?! Us?! A-are you sure?”

“You said it means you wanna be together for a really long time, right?”

The prince nodded his head.

“Well do you wanna be together a really long time?”

A pause, and then another nod. It was true, if Hakuryuu had his way, he’d like to be with Judal for a very, very long time. The older boy didn’t remind him so much of his brothers as he did a cat, mysterious and prone to high places. But he was fun to be around, and he was nice to him even if he did tease sometimes, and Hakuryuu liked him very much.

So yes, being together with Judal for a really long time sounded like a very good thing to him.

“Okay, so, then… let’s try and adult kiss.”

“Are you sure?” Hakuryuu repeated. “Really really sure?”

“Really, really, really sure.” Judal assured with a firm nod of his head.

They both inched closer together, scooching across the grass until they were sitting in front of one another, knees touching. Both boys fidgeted, unsure of how exactly to proceed. It seemed a relatively simple concept, just do the same as you did with a cheek kiss, except on the mouth. Well it was a lot more difficult when you actually meant to do it, at least for a pair of children.

Several moments of silence passed before they both had the same idea at the same time and leaned in. This did not end as planned, both knocking their foreheads and noses together before jerking back with matching squeaks of surprise. They rubbed at where they’d knocked together.

“Sorry—“

“No that was me—“

“No I think I—“

“Can we try again?”

“Yeah here—“

“Like this—“

“Yeah okay.”

Hakuryuu rested his small hands on Judal’s cheeks, holding him steady. The small Magi didn’t complain, letting the prince do as he wanted.

“Okay, close your eyes.” Hakuryuu instructed, and he did.

Heart pounding in his chest and stomach twisting into knots that he wasn’t familiar with, Hakuryuu just sat there for a minute, looking at the older boy. He was just sitting there waiting, and he probably wouldn’t forever, so the little prince took a deep breath and leaned up.

This time their noses bumped again, but not nearly as hard, and they managed to do as intended. Two small pairs of lips pushed together in a childish rendition of a kiss, neither quite sure what to do past that. It only lasted a few innocent seconds, and then they pulled apart again.

Hakuryuu sat back again and dropped his hands, blushing down at his knees the same color as Judal’s robes. Judal meanwhile, lifted his sleeve and covered his mouth, hiding his own flush behind it.

“…So… does that mean we’ll be together a really long time?” he mumbled from beneath his sleeve, peeking up at Hakuryuu.

The prince picked his head up and nodded, a silly smile curling its way over his lips.

“Yeah, definitely!”

Judal giggled, flushing brighter pink, but grinning nonetheless.

“Good! Then…” he shuffled his sleeve down again and held out his hand, pinky up. “I’ll learn more about kissing, and when we’re older I’ll give you a proper adult kiss, okay?”

Picking up his own hand, Hakuryuu nodded, linking pinkies with his friend to seal the promise.

“Me too! And I’ll give you lots so we’ll be together a really long time!”

Almost simultaneously, both boys burst into jovial giggles, pinkies still linked as they thought about their future kisses. 


	2. Valentine's

Most days running a flower shop was the pinnacle of Hakuryuu’s dream come true. His shop was small, but not too small, and he had put every single bit of effort and determination into making it happen just the way he envisioned it. And it had turned out just that way. This had always been his passion, and it showed from the moment you walked in.

It wasn’t exactly a rich man’s income, but it was a steady flow of money, and he got to do what he loved day in and day out. In fact, Hakuryuu hardly felt he was working half the time, he was having so much fun doing what he did. That was everyone’s dream in and of itself, so he generally felt pretty lucky.

However that was most days, and today was not most days. It was February the fourteen, or as most people recalled it; _Valentine’s Day_.

Hakuryuu was, in the simplest terms, _completely swamped_. From the moment he’d opened shop he’d had people pouring in to buy flowers for their loved ones. Young and old alike, they came in waves where every time one person left, it felt like two more people entered. It was a little overwhelming, considering he worked alone, but nothing Hakuryuu could not handle when he put his mind to it.

It became progressively easier to read people the more he dealt with them. There were nervous customers, who asked him his advice and opinion and bounced on their heels, who were likely celebrating their first Valentine’s Day. Confident ones who knew precisely what they wanted and how they wanted it, who were in and out as quickly as he could deal with them. Elderly customers who toddled around smiling fondly before picking what they wanted and excited children asking their parent which to get mommy or daddy.

The whole shop was buzzing with excitement and Hakuryuu was, in total honesty… not feeling it. In fact as the day wore on, he found himself growing more and more bitter, though it wouldn’t show if you looked at him.

When Hakuryuu said it had taken everything he had to get this shop up and running, he wasn’t kidding. He’d been from a wealthy family originally, but not following the traditional route of joining the family business had cost him dearly. It had been almost three years since he’d been back home.

He’d dropped everything and put every penny, every sleepless night, every bit of effort he might have for possibly a lifetime, into this. He’d been open nearly two years and there was just no time to find someone to share it all with. Not like he’d made many attempts at finding a significant other, but that wasn’t the point.

After three years, Hakuryuu Ren was getting lonely. He had friends, regulars in his shop who he would consider acquaintances, and he’d been on one or two dates, but predominantly all his focus had had to be on the shop. At first that was a decent excuse, but nowadays, things ran incredibly more smoothly than they did before and he really could hire on an apprentice if he wanted. He didn’t, but he could.

Most days Hakuryuu could just brush the loneliness off, but on Valentine’s Day it became starkly obvious. He tried his best not to think too hard on how much he’d love to be in any one of these people’s places, from the anxious boy buying his first girlfriend roses to the couple in their seventies picking out a new potted plant for their garden. He tried, but he did anyway. In the few quiet moments when the activity in the shop was lulled, he couldn’t help feeling a pang of jealousy.

It was only human, right? To want companionship? Especially at a point in one’s life where they’re stable and ready to open their life to another person. Unfortunately the logic of how _understandable_ this was did not help. He was still feeling lousy by day’s end.

Hakuryuu glanced at the clock over his door, watching as it ticked closer to five past five. Most days he would close at six, but if things were still as busy as they were right now, he’d stay open late. Granted, the constant flow of couples and spouses would only make him feel worse, but hey, money was money. This _was_ his job.

With a sigh, he returned his attention to righting a vase of lilies before he was looking up again as the bell attached to the door rang. Someone stepped inside the shop and Hakuryuu felt his heart do a funny backflip in his chest, which was a feeling he’d come to associate with the person in question.

Sometime in October of the previous year, a young man with long black hair and eyes like fresh picked carnations had walked into his shop. He’d been there to buy a plant for his new apartment, which he had asked Hakuryuu’s advice on. Over the next hour, Hakuryuu had learned that his name was Judal, he was going to college with no real major, but was very fond of photography, and they were both very fond of vibrantly colored flowers that didn’t need too much attention.

Judal came back a week later, this time with news his landlord had allowed him a window box, and the inquiry of what would be best for it. Hakuryuu had steered him towards red and purple verbena, and somehow that whole interaction had lasted another hour and a half.

By the time December rolled around, Judal was a regular, coming in at least weekly to either buy plant food or a new addition to what Hakuryuu could only imagine was a growing garden. Their chat grew longer and at some point Hakuryuu realized that Judal didn’t seem to have much of a problem just listening to him ramble on about botany. And he really did listen! He’d ask questions and make comments and he heard every word.

It was silly, Hakuryuu supposed, but he knew a crush when it came barreling in. And he most certainly had a crush on Judal. Most days that made his presence welcome but today all it did was make Hakuryuu feel worse.

Still, he put on a smile and raised his hand in greeting. Judal saw it and grinned, raising his own hand before glancing around. He made a motion and mouthed something along the lines of; “ _You look pretty swamped._ ”

Hakuryuu rolled his eyes in almost complete exasperation and nodded with an apologetic smile. He held up one finger to show he’d be with him in a minute and Judal just shook his head, waving a hand dismissively. “ _Take your time, I’m good._ ” he mouthed, smiling again before turning his attention to one of the vibrant arrangements on a nearby table.

God if only everyone were willing to wait like that. Hakuryuu’s attention had been pulled in ten directions at once today and now was no exception, apparently.

By the time the shop cleared out even a fraction it was already fifteen minutes to six. Hakuryuu handed over the last customer’s change, told them to have a nice day with a smile, and watched them leave. He leaned against the counter with a sigh, head hanging a moment before he suddenly remembered—Judal!

His head shot up, even as he told himself that there was no way the dark man had waited, but lo and behold there he was, looking over the display of cactuses with his hands in his coat pockets. The sight of him sent a wave of relief through Hakuryuu and he stepped out from behind the counter quickly, approaching the other with a weary smile.

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t think that would take that long.” he said, stopping beside him.

“Hey, no problem. You were busy, and it’s not like I have anywhere to be so I didn’t mind waiting.”

Judal’s smiles always made Hakuryuu feel better. That felt incredible clichéd to even think, but it was true. Something about his smile made Hakuryuu feel like the entire day could go drastically wrong and somehow or other it would still end with laughter.

“You here for more plant food?” he asked, returning the smile. “How’s the shamrock doing?”

“Blooming, actually! I wasn’t expecting that many flowers, it’s been relocated to the front hall.” he bounced once on his heels. “And, no, I’m ah, not here for plant food today.”

Hakuryuu felt his heart sinking before he even bothered asking.

“What for then?”

“A bouquet, actually. Something simple but, well I mean.” he rubbed the back of his head, glancing away a moment. “It’s for someone else, so romantic I guess.”

And just like that Hakuryuu felt like he’d been punched in the chest. Good. Oh _good_. Just what he needed today. His crush of almost six months walks in on Valentine’s Day when he’s already feeling lonely, only to be looking for flowers for someone else.

Well Hakuryuu wasn’t usually the type to turn to alcohol but yeah tonight might be a night to drink. Not like there was anyone around to be annoyed with him about it.

“Right. Of course.” he replied, expertly masking the current feeling of having his heart ground into the floor by someone’s heel with a smile. “Anything in particular in mind?”

“Not roses.” Judal said instantly. “That’s too…”

“Cliché?”

“I was going to say mundane.”

Even with the ache in his chest, Hakuryuu still managed a genuinely amused laugh.

“Well you’re not wrong. Romantic as they are, roses are several decades overdone, in my opinion. At least red ones.”

“Yeah, I mean I know different colors mean different things but—Something a little more unusual would be nice.”

Judal paused, glancing around.

“Besides I think you’re all out of roses. Cut or potted.”

“I have maybe five white ones and a handful of purple left and maybe one potted one in back.”

They looked at one another, and then almost simultaneously laughed. Good thing Judal wasn’t here for roses.

Hakuryuu took a deep breath, quashing down his own feelings. Yes, it sincerely and truly _sucked_ that Judal was here for a romantic arrangement of flowers, probably for a pretty girl somewhere, but that was just how things were. No use in taking it out on Judal, and certainly no use in making his Valentine’s Day unpleasant.

“Okay, so… Unusual but romantic flowers. Let’s see…”

He began walking and Judal followed him, watching patiently as the florist peered at various flowers he passed.

“Is this someone you’ve been with a while, or a new relationship?” he asked, both for the bouquet and because he wanted to know.

“Actually I’m asking them out.”

“What, _today_?” he shot a look over his shoulder. “Now _that_ is cliché.”

“Okay okay no need to give me that look.” Judal huffed. “It was either today or I lost my nerve entirely. ...Besides they seem the type to appreciate the occasional cliché.”

“And if you get rejected?”

Hey, it was an honest question.

“Well then they get beautiful flowers and I feel stupid.” He shrugged. “But that’s how it would be any other day too.”

He had a point. Holiday or not, asking someone out on Valentine’s Day was really just like asking them out any other day.

Hakuryuu kept walking around the shopping, thinking hard about what would be best for the bouquet. Most first timers and hopefuls just wanted roses, or their potential love’s favorite flower. Actually building a bouquet meant to woo someone was another matter entirely and he had to think about it.

He liked the challenge though, always had, and mixing meaning with the beauty of a flower arrangement was what he took great pride in. It gave him a chance to put knowledge alongside technique and, at this moment, would distract him from the matter of his crushed hopes.

“Orchids.” he spoke up after a moment, pausing in front of the display. “Pink Orchids in specific. Orchids as a whole are thought to symbolize a rare and delicate beauty, and pink in particular means _pure affection_.”

Judal looked at the plants in question thoughtfully, seeming to consider.

“Yeah, that sounds about right.” he admitted after a few second’s silence. “Definitely the orchids.”

Hakuryuu nodded, reaching out to gently pluck up one of the flowers.

“How big do you want the bouquet?”

“Not very big, I’ve always thought huge ones were sort of excessive.”

Actually, that was something Hakuryuu very much agreed on. They’d talked about it before in passing, when Judal had come in for something and passed a man leaving with a good twenty four flower bouquet. Personally, they both felt that maybe a potted plant would serve a better message than that many cut flowers. Who even had room for all those?

Hakuryuu pulled up two of the orchids, gently holding both. Judal leaned over to smell them and he had to work hard not to flush at just how close together that brought them.

Swallowing the mix of embarrassment and heartache, he turned and started walking again.

“Purple Asters,” he spoke up, waiting for Judal to catch up before pointing. “They mean _love and patience_. If you’ve been waiting a while to ask this person out, they’re a good choice.”

“I have. Not too long though. So maybe just one?”

“Just one it is.”

One aster joined the two orchids, and as Hakuryuu turned to pass another display a thought struck him almost immediately.

“Oh, hang on—“

He handed Judal his flowers, which he took without complaint, and darted down the row of plants until he found the ones he wanted. Quickly finding two he deemed appropriate, he moved to another display and hunted around until—Oh thank goodness.

Once again returning to his customer’s side, he held up the four purple flowers.

“Lilacs and Purple Roses.” he said, smiling triumphantly. “Glad I had a few left over.”

“What do they mean?” Judal asked, sounding genuinely interested. Few people ever did, it was one of the things he’d always loved about talking to him.

Great, there went his heart again.

“Separately, lilacs symbolize the first emotions of love, and purple roses embody enchantment. Together, they mean _love at first sight_. And, of course, purple is the color of royalty.”

The four flowers in his hand were added to the bouquet, bringing the total up to seven different flowers. He could already see the arrangement forming in his mind, how the purple and pink petals were going to look side by side, but the thought was interrupted by Judal.

“What’s your favorite?"

“Pardon?”

“Your favorite flower—Well, no, your favorite _romantic_ flower. I’m not gonna try to make you decide your favorite period that might kill you.”

Hakuryuu might have been genuinely annoyed with Judal’s teasing grin if he wasn’t absolutely correct. He just shot him a withering look.

This faded however as he thought.

“My favorite romantic flower…” What _was_ his favorite…?

Hakuryuu had never thought about it, honestly. He’d never gotten flowers on Valentine’s Day, and he’d never really had anyone to give them to either. There was no specific emotional attachment to any one flower that spoke of love, not for him anyway.

Or… Actually.

He glanced at Judal a moment, then away again. Once more, he handed him his flowers, then turned down another path through the shop to go find the one he wanted. Judal followed.

Hakuryuu stopped in front of a vibrant display, this time the same flower in various shades and colors, and pointed.

“Red Carnations.” he said, feeling quite a bit like laughing at himself as he said it. “They mean _admiration_. When you give them to someone, it’s supposed to mean something like _my heart aches for you_.”

Even while saying it, Hakuryuu felt like slapping himself to shut himself up. Red carnations, how much more obvious could he get? He’d used that very flower to describe Judal’s eyes to himself, and the message behind it spoke volumes. It was almost pathetic.

Still, staring at the carnations, Hakuryuu couldn’t help feeling the bitterness and the heartbreak melt away into a dejected sort of sadness. Maybe, if instead of being shy he’d worked up the courage to say something to Judal that might even _indicate_ he liked him, he wouldn’t be standing here on Valentine’s Day helping him woo someone else.

But as usual, too little too late. He’d let the chance slip by.

“Five.”

Hakuryuu snapped out of his thoughts with a rapid blink.

“I’m sorry?”

“Five of the red carnations.” Judal repeated. “And that’ll be all I think.”

Hakuryuu stared at him a moment, not sure what to make of that request off the top of his head. Wanting the flower for its message made perfect sense of course, but why five? Red would overpower the fainter colors of the bouquet in that number. Was it just so there was a dozen flowers? No Judal didn’t seem the type to care about odd or even numbers.

Deciding he didn’t really want to know the answer, Hakuryuu pulled five of the carnations and then nodded to the counter. Together, they walked up to it, Hakuryuu holding the flowers one handed while he pulled out the decorative paper to wrap them in.

He laid out the carnations, then took the other seven flowers, and went to work.

Judal leaned against the counter, watching silently as he plucked and preened and shifted the flowers around, arranging them in whatever way he saw most fit. It was easy, repetitive work for him and it was a good way to distract himself.

It didn’t take him long though, and soon the bouquet was arranged, wrapped, and tied with a blue ribbon per Judal’s request. Looking down at the arrangement, Hakuryuu couldn’t help feeling a mixture of pride and sadness.

This was a lovely arrangement. For just a dozen flowers, he’d done a marvelous job of making sure none of them clashed and they all complimented each other. But when he thought of the meaning behind the bouquet, his heart started sinking all over again.

To someone who spoke the language of flowers, this whole bouquet screamed of someone who had fallen, and fallen hard. Head over heels even, for the person they meant to give it to. And thinking of that, Hakuryuu couldn’t help feeling incredibly stupid.

Five months and a crush was not a crush anymore, that was infatuation. Hakuryuu had gone and started falling and he hadn’t even noticed it and heavens above did he feel _incredibly_ stupid.

Judal paid for his flowers, and as he put the money in the register, Hakuryuu offered him a light smile.

“Whoever you’re giving that to is lucky.” he said.

“I’ll be lucky if I’m not about to make a complete fool of myself.”

“What, you? Come on, you’ve always got your head together.”

Hakuryuu smiled again, picking up the bouquet and stepping out from behind the counter to hand it to Judal. He didn’t usually do that but, well… Sue him for wanting to be a little closer to him for a little longer.

“Don’t think about it too hard, you’ll be fine.” he reassured. “And hey, tell me how it goes.”

“Actually, you’re gonna have to tell me that.”

Hakuryuu had to replay that sentence back in his head, and even then what was being said didn’t quite click. He blinked, and he probably would have gone on standing there confused and unsure if not for the fact that a warm palm cupped his hand.

It took him a moment to realize that the bouquet he’d just handed over was being gently set in his hands, but the second it processed, his cheeks went from their usual pallor to bright, bright red.

“I know it’s a little late in the day to ask,” Judal said, and Hakuryuu was floored to find that his cheeks were tinting pink as well. “But I was hoping you might go to dinner with me.”

The florist couldn’t quite believe what he was hearing. He almost wanted to reach up and pinch himself just to be sure he wasn’t having some kind of ridiculous daydream, but that didn’t even make sense. This was actually happening, to him of all people, and it was Judal asking.

Hakuryuu opened his mouth to speak, realized how brightly he was blushing, and quickly looked down. This, he found, was a terrible idea because now he was looking down at the arrangement of flowers he himself had made, unknowingly for himself.

Pink Orchids for delicate beauty and affection. Purple Asters for love and patience. A mix of purple Lilacs and Roses for _love at first sight_ and lastly, five, bright, bold carnations that said _my heart aches for you_.

Five. Five carnations like the five months that Judal had been walking into his shop, buying plants and plant food for an apartment that was probably looking a bit like this shop by now. Oh dear god he felt so incredibly stupid how could he not have noticed.

“I-I, uhm—I-I’m hardly dressed for dinner—“ he stammered out finally, still looking down at the flowers. “I’m covered in soil and—I mean—“

“Oh, no no no, not anywhere fancy!” Judal interjected quickly. “Just, maybe pizza or something. It doesn’t even really have to be a date if you want—“

“Wha—No!”

Hauryuu’s head shot up and almost at the same moment, they both blushed and looked away again. This felt like the kind of thing that happened in romance novels, not to real people.

He raised the flowers, half-hiding behind them in a failed attempt to cover up his embarrassment.

“Actually I’d…very much like it to be a date.” he said softly. “If you wouldn’t mind…”

Glancing up through his bangs, he caught sight of Judal looking back at him again. The usually aloof man looked incredibly different when he was blushing, and not in a bad way.

“Not at all.” he said, smiling at the flushed flower boy. “You want to wait until it’s time to close up?”

“No, it’s actually ten minutes past closing so let me just—“

A pause, then he shoved the bouquet into the other’s arms.

“Hold these a moment and—Oh for goodness sake if I’d known they were for me I wouldn’t have charged you—“

Judal laughed. “Well yeah I know that’s why I didn’t exactly tell you.”

Hakuryuu wanted to glare at him, but the shock was wearing off and giddiness was taking its place and that made it hard to even think about being annoyed with Judal. Especially when his smile turned into something much gentler than he was used to seeing.

“Should I have just gone with roses?” he asked.

“No. Definitely not.” he smiled back. “I much prefer those.”

He ducked behind the counter again, quickly locking things up and grabbing his coat, shutting off the lights and turning up the humidity in the shop so the flowers would be comfortable.

In five minutes, they were out of the shop and stepping out into the brisk evening streets, the bouquet still resting in Judal’s arm. As they began walking, talking about where they should go to eat, Hakuryuu reached out his hand and slid it into Judal’s.

The grin he got and the way the other squeezed his palm made the whole, tiring day completely worthwhile.


	3. Affection

It’s no question who, between the two of them, is the affectionate one. It’s Judal. You don’t even really need to know anything about either of them to know that he is, he’s just very clearly an affectionate person. Hakuryuu, by contrast, is not.

Judal’s been aware of this fact for quite literally years, but he expected some kind of change after they somehow stumbled their way into becoming lovers. After everything they’d been through in the last few months, from conquering Belial to killing Gyokuen to taking the throne, he sort of assumed he’d earned a bit of affection. But, nothing changed.

Behind closed doors, late at night where no one could really see, there was plenty of physical adoration. They were quick to learn one another’s bodies by heart, and Judal certainly did not mind that at all. His king was a wonderful lover, both physically and emotionally. As he’d said before; the only person who could understand him.

It was outside their shared room that began to bother him. Whereas before they’d become lovers, Hakuryuu would shrug his touches off, he no longer did. In fact he allowed them to linger as long as Judal would like, and that was a wonderful thing that really did make the Magi’s heart swell. The problem was that, with this newfound freedom came a certain self-consciousness.

He would touch Hakuryuu, sling an arm around his shoulder, rest a hand on his back, sometimes when no one was looking, peck his cheek. Little things that were meant to remind and perhaps, reassure, the king throughout the day that he was loved. All very normal couple behavior, not that Judal was necessarily aware of that.

The thing was that, as many soft touches and light kisses he gave his king, he never got a single one in return. At first it didn’t faze him, Hakuryuu’s lack of reaction to his touch never had, yet it become very quickly obvious to him how often he touched his king in comparison to how often his king _didn’t_ touch _him_.

Being self-conscious did not suit Judal very well. He’d long since abandoned his desire to please others, with the exception of his king, which was what made it so frustrating to be in this situation. The single person on earth capable of making him feel like this, was, and he wasn’t totally sure what to do about it. Though Hakuryuu never said anything, Judal couldn’t help wondering if he was bothering his king with his affection.

So, little by little, he stopped. Not entirely intentionally, no, but nonetheless sooner than expected Judal gave up most of his affectionate gestures entirely. Hakuryuu never mentioned it, so he simply assumed he’d been right the first time and his king merely saw them as unnecessary. This did hurt him, in a way, but it tried his patience more than it upset him. Waiting entire days to touch Hakuryuu was like asking him not to climb to high places. It went against his nature.

He grew used to it though, even if it did leave his feelings to fester in his chest until he could finally express them at night. During the day he was antsier, having to find other ways to distract and occupy himself to keep himself from touching Hakuryuu. He did manage it though, somehow. If it was for his king, Judal would do absolutely anything at all, even at cost to his own self.

Having already accepted that this was likely to be the way things were for the rest of their time together, however long that was meant to be, the last thing Judal expected was to feel a soft tug on his hair. Floating above Hakuryuu as he did most days, Judal looked behind him before looking down, expecting some sort of bird or something to have grabbed onto his hair. Instead, upon glancing down he found his king’s hand to be the one holding lightly to the end of his braid.

Without looking up, Hakuryuu gave another soft tug, then dropped his hand. For a few moments, Judal was confused, then, experimentally, he lowered himself from the height he’d been at, floating closer to his king’s shoulder.

Hakuryuu hummed idly, tucking his arms into his sleeves and resuming the pace at which he’d been walking, apparently content with this. Confused, but not displeased, Judal followed alongside him.

After that, Judal made a habit of floating nearer to his king, however sometimes he forgot, and when he did there would be a tug on his hair that reminded him. Sometimes he forgot on purpose, just to feel that gentle nudge meaning he was too far away.

He took to floating at the side of Hakuryuu’s throne rather than above it following another few short tugs one day, when he lounged in the air over him. Though he tried not to make a big deal out of it, he took extreme pleasure in the knowledge that his lover was wanting them closer together.

One day, settled beside his king and watching disinterestedly as activity in the throne room went on, Judal felt another soft pull on his hair. It wasn’t a tug this time, not a purposeful one, and he was momentarily confused. He was practically sitting on the arm of the throne, wasn’t he close enough?

Trying not to appear as though he was, Judal glanced to the side. It took him a moment, but out of the corner of his eye he registered that there were pale fingers linking in and out of the end of his braid, toying with the dark hair with the sort of amusement a cat showed a ball of string. He followed the fingers up to his king’s arm and immediately stopped any small movements he may have been making.

Though his eyes remained ahead, Hakuryuu’s fingers played with his braid, occupying himself. He’d never done that before, at least not outside of their room, and Judal was momentarily overwhelmed with several different feelings at once. Chiefly among them, an almost childish sense of joy. He kept it to himself though, sitting there and turning his eyes back to the room in front of them, letting his king do as he wished.

Several days later, once Judal had grown used to Hakuryuu’s new habit of playing with his hair in idle moments, there was another tug. He did not question it, just floated down and settled himself on the arm of the throne.

A few days later, an arm linked around his middle briefly, calloused fingertips brushing against his side for a moment when no one was watching.

Just a day after that, as they walked through the courtyards, Hakuryuu paused, tugged his hair until he was close, and kissed him softly. Right out in the open. Judal had to duck his head most of the day after that so people wouldn’t see how red in the cheeks he was.

Despite all this though, Judal did not resume his own affections, still unsure where they stood and what was permitted. It wasn’t like they had any plans to announce their love for one another to the world, but they had never meant to hide it either. If people found out, they weren’t about to deny it, they just weren’t going to tell them either.

It was a long while before Hakuryuu broke the unspoken silence between them. The throne room was practically empty, anyone who remained was paying little attention to the emperor and his Magi, and Hakuryuu’s arm had found its way around Judal’s middle again.

“Are you angry with me?” he asked, suddenly and without any prompting.

Judal blinked the haze from his eyes, which generally meant he was staring into space, and looked down at his king immediately.

“What? No. Of course not.” he answered, sounding concerned despite himself. “Do I seem like I am?”

“…It’s been some time since you’ve responded to any kind of touch I’ve given you.”

Judal blinked several times.

It was true, Hakuryuu’s small gestures from before they had become lovers had been met with contrastingly extravagant reactions, but he didn’t think that was what he meant. No, it took Judal a moment to piece it all together, but he came to the realization that his lover was referring to the littler actions he’d by this point, entirely ceased.

Had Hakuryuu started touching them in an attempt to regain those? He’d never said anything, but then again he wasn’t much for words on personal matters. Still, had he missed those little affections?

“I mean,” Judal shifted where he sat, glancing back out over the throne room. “I thought I was bugging you.”

“You weren’t.”

“You never said anything.”

It comes out a little more accusatory than Judal had intended, but Hakuryuu seemed to understand. The emperor gazed at his Magi for a long few moments, then sighed softly.

Judal’s eyes widened and he muffled a surprised squeak as the arm around his waist tightened, drawing him down from where he had settled and directly into his king’s lap. A dusting of pink covered pale cheeks, and he opened his mouth to protest, but was silenced by a soft kiss being pressed to his temple.

His cheeks grew redder.

“I apologize, Judal.”

His mouth snapped shut before he could make a fool of himself, and he simply looked at his king.

“I gave you the impression I disliked your touch.” Hakuryuu sighed, his arm shifting its grip around his waist to be a little more firm. “That was not my intention.”

Judal’s confused expression must have said all the emperor needed, because he elaborated.

“I am… new to this. What is between us is not something I’ve shared with another before. Despite my best efforts, I still seem to be stumbling through the first few steps.”

His wooden hand rose and Judal stayed still as his finger combed softly through his bangs, brushing them back from his cheeks.

“I’m not accustomed to showing others affection.” the emperor admitted lowly. “Receiving it I’ve grown used to, from you, but returning it seems to have escaped me for a time.”

Such an admission was not at all what Judal had expected out of his day, or ever for that matter, and he stared at his lover in surprise for several moments. These were not words from his king, he realized, but from the Hakuryuu he generally only saw after dark, when no one else was around.

It didn’t take much for him to zero in on his love and erase the presence of others from his mind entirely. The only one who mattered was Hakuryuu anyway.

“So it didn’t bother you? Me touching you all the time?”

“Not at all.”

“Really?”

“Really.”

“ _Promise?_ ”

“Judal.”

The Magi wrinkled his nose as it was pecked lightly.

“So I can go back to touching you again? Around other people?” he asked, wanting to absolutely confirm he was permitted to do so.

“Yes. And I will… do my best to reciprocate.”

Hakuryuu’s expression grew slightly more serious, brow knitting in a moment of what seemed to be frustration. Judal raised a hand, doing as he would if they were the only ones in the room and brushing his fingers lightly through his emperor’s bangs. The younger leaned into the touch, expression evening.

“It has been a long time since there has been anyone for me to show my love to.” he murmured softly. “I’ve forgotten how.”

“You’re doing fine so far.”

“Fine? I pushed you away. That is not _fine_ , Judal.”

The fact that there was probably one or two guards or officials looking at them right that moment completely escaped the pair. Hakuryuu leaned in, pressing a soft kiss to Judal’s lips that was returned wholeheartedly. He pulled back only far enough to speak, keeping their eyes locked.

“You are my lover, and my Magi. I should be better about expressing my feelings to you. That was _my_ mistake.”

“Yeah, well,” Judal’s fingers played with the dark lock of hair they held. “I wasn’t very communicative either. I guess we’re both at fault.”

Taking his newfound permission to once more be affectionate, Judal tilted his head up and kissed Hakuryuu’s brow softly.

“Let’s be better about that, neh?”

“Mm.” the emperor hummed his agreement, tightening his hold on his lover’s waist. “Let’s.”

Judal smiled, settling back again and this time relaxing, much like a contented cat might, into his emperor’s lap. He had a feeling he was going to end up in this position a lot, or at least as much as he could get away with, and thankfully enough, Hakuryuu didn’t seem to mind in the least.


	4. Bickering

When he argues with Judal, there is no victor, and that’s how it’s been as long as Hakuryuu can remember. He’s spent a predominant portion of his life around the Magi, and they’ve spent a good amount of that time trying to outwit one another in verbal combat. When he was younger, Hakuryuu had thought he’d won several of their spats but, in reflection, he most certainly had not.

Perhaps when they were younger there was real conflict behind their bickering, but over the years it had developed into less of a medium through which to be angry with one another and more of a game. Not that you would be able to tell from the outside looking in, they most definitely looked like at least one of them disliked the other on any given day. In a lot of ways, they did.

The grievances they had with one another were very real, each holding different aspects of the other in disdain. Of course those things have changed over time with maturity and new perspectives, but enough irritation has remained to allow them to continue their game.

It is a pathetically simple farce. All they need is an excuse, a single spark of anger from one of them or the other, and they’re off. These days, it’s usually Hakuryuu who snaps first, but Judal who instigates. In fact, he seems to take great joy in it and as many times as Hakuryuu leaves snarling and cursing under his breath, he does too.

Once that anger is sparked, the harsh tone of voice comes out, and then a veiled insult, and so on and so forth until they’re bickering again. Some of their arguments have been had tens of times and they could probably recite them off the top of their heads and some of them are fresh and brand new. They would be lying if they said that arguing with one another didn’t set their hearts racing.

There’s an adrenaline rush that comes with arguing with Judal. It’s almost as potent as the rush Hakuryuu gets in the heat of battle, which should be mildly disturbing but in its own weird way, makes perfect sense. He can never be sure if it’s something to do with the fact that he’s fighting with one of the most powerful people in existence, or that that same person seems to take sure pleasure in tormenting specifically  _him_.

Judal’s eyes light up when he’s arguing, and at first, way back when Hakuryuu first realized that this was all just a game to them both, he’d thought it was just because Judal liked fighting. In all forms. He’d learned he was wrong over the years, because Judal’s eyes grow venomous when he argues with others and shine when he argues with Hakuryuu. When others disagree with him, he gets vicious, when Hakuryuu does, he enjoys it.

When he thinks about it that way, Hakuryuu almost wants to feel there’s something twisted about that but, well, it’s not like he’s much different.

They bicker about virtually everything, even when they don’t totally disagree. They bicker about fighting, about not fighting, about Judal’s choice of clothing, about Hakuryuu’s habits, about Judal’s habits, about whether it’s too hot out or too cold or if the sky is blue. Anything they can find a reason to even slightly disagree on, they manage to find a way to argue over it.

The thing about games though, is that half the fun of them is that there’s a winner. And no matter who has the last word in their fights, neither of them ever leave feeling completely satisfied. In fact, over the years the feeling of satisfaction has begun to dwindle further and further which has just made them bicker more out of some demented fear that one day they’re going to be fighting and it’s going to be because they are really and truly  _angry_  with one another. And for Hakuryuu at least, that thought is honestly scary.

The more they bicker the more the dissatisfied restlessness grows and the more the tension between them heightens. Their game has gone on for almost as long as Hakuryuu can remember and it’s finally reaching a point where they can’t continue it on draws. Someone has to win, someone has to lose, and that would be an easy task to accomplish if either of them could seem to figure out what the hell this whole game is even trying to accomplish to begin with.

If they weren’t so stubborn, they might actually talk this all out but of course, they won’t. Instead, they both stew in their own growing uncertainties and try to figure out what it is that all of this is headed towards.

Hakuryuu begins listening, not that he wasn’t to begin with, but  _really_  listening to what they say during their conversations. He pays attention to when Judal starts arguments and when he seems most passionate about them and somewhere along that line it all becomes blindingly obvious. Why on earth didn’t he see it before? Maybe because Judal is a master of masking his feelings, in his own way, and Hakuryuu had just never considered it.

In his own twisted way, Judal cares about Hakuryuu. He doesn’t taunt and prod at him to just get a rise out of him, he does it to be sure that boiling anger is still just beneath the surface. His insistence on conquering dungeons, on working alongside him, he’s trying to make sure Hakuryuu doesn’t fall behind the rest of his family and gets where he’s trying to go.

Though both of their feelings get muddled up and twisted in their bickering, disguised by angry words and cryptic phrases, they’re both just trying to make sure the other is okay. In their own ways, they both  _care_. There’s been no victor to their argumentative game because neither of them have taken the step forward to shift their dynamic.

Because, as Hakuryuu realizes, it cannot continue like this. They can’t keep this up because it’s starting to wear on both of them. It was fun, truly it was, for years and years and years but now they’re beginning to have a sense of doubt. Are we doing this for the same reasons or do you really dislike me? Do you get what I’m trying to say or do you really think I’m angry with you?

On the path they’re headed down, they’re bound to lose one another through some twisted miscommunication. Something needs to change but neither of them seem willing to give that final inch.

Usually, once an argument is over, Hakuryuu will storm off to give himself some time to cool down and replay the whole thing in his head. Today however, he stays put and the fight continues long past the worn out scripted lines of things they’ve said to one another a hundred times before.

The argument has diverted from its original point. They’ve gone circles around one another at this point and it’s ended up somewhere in the region of  _well if you would just listen to me_  for the umpteenth time. If it weren’t for the fact that they were quickly running out of their usual quips, it would be the same as always.

“All you ever think about is yourself, you couldn’t care less whether it helps me or not so long as you get what you want!”

Hakuryuu is aware that he just said the  _exact_  same thing in slightly different words not two minutes ago but it’s all he’s got. His arsenal is running low very fast and even before Judal opens his mouth he knows what’s coming.

“ _Sure_  whatever you want to believe. You’re so wrapped up in your own drama you can’t even tell when people are trying to help you!”

Yep there it is. Oh he has to have some kind of comeback that he hasn’t already used in the past fifteen minutes because otherwise they will quite literally start repeating the argument verbatim.

“Since when is that any concern of your’s?!”

“Since I said it was!”

That’s not  _quite_  the same thing, and that’s good, but Hakuryuu’s response takes a few seconds longer to come to him because he’s just realized that he took a step forward, and so has Judal.

So rather than think about it, he takes another step.

“You’re a  _self-entitled egotist_! I never said I wanted your help!”

Judal mirrors him and takes a step forward again.

“Who’s being self-centered now? I never said I needed your say!”

“You can’t just help someone who doesn’t want it!”

“Oh watch me!”

One stride forward, covering more distance this time. Hakuryuu doesn’t even think, he just does the same. The distance between them is closing at an alarmingly rapid rate and if they don’t pace themselves, it’s going to be gone in a few more sentences.

“You just want an excuse to use me to your own ends.”

“How does  _anything_  I’m offering you benefit  _me_?”

Though come to think of it, why is he trying to prolong this? The prince takes another step forward and this time Judal stays put. Their voices have dropped from yells to irritated snarls and their whole attention is centered on the person in front of them.

They’re off script. This is not an argument they’ve had before, this is not a situation they’ve ended up in previously. It’s scary in a way, they’ve kept to the same patterns for years but now they’re finally crossing whatever line lays between them.

What’s on the other side of it is unknown.

“Everything you do has an ulterior motive. You don’t even walk without some kind of twisted purpose to it.”

“Not every motive is necessarily meant for  _me_.”

“Since when do you do anything for anyone else?”

“Since when do you think I don’t?”

“You’re not answering my question.”

“You still think I’m trying to use you.”

“I think you don’t know when to stop talking.”

“Oh it that s—“

“Oh for the love of god shut  _up_  Judal." 

He isn’t even sure when the last of the space between them closed, or who took the last two steps to bring them almost nose to nose to one another. Hakuryuu’s hand had found Judal’s shawl and gripped at it, and following his last words he jerked, bringing them the last bit closer and pulling the taller boy down into a kiss.

Some part of Hakuryuu’s mind thinks that this should feel unnatural, yet it’s anything but. This feels like exactly what he expected to lay over the proverbial line they’d dared to cross. Somewhere the bickering had to end and they had to come clean about their feelings in their own messed up kind of way and here they are, standing in the middle of a hallway with their mouths pressed together and the entire world drowned out by the sound of their own hearts beating in their ears.

Judal’s lips are soft, which doesn’t surprise Hakuryuu in the least. They’re soft and they’re malleable, giving easily under Hakuryuu’s and letting him take the lead.  _That_  surprises him, but not in an unpleasant way. In fact, there’s nothing even remotely unpleasant about kissing Judal, who seems perfectly happy to let the kiss go on as long as the prince would like.

They part, but only for a few seconds while Hakuryuu’s hand drops from the white fabric it was gripping onto and relocates to the Magi’s hips. He rests both hands there and Judal makes a small humming sound that comes off a bit like a contented cat. This time they both lean in and their mouths mesh much more easily, heads tilting to better accommodate one another.

Hakuryuu’s posture shifts as the Magi’s arms slide around his neck, resting idly there without holding him too terribly tight. Absently he notes there are fingers toying with the hair at the nape of his neck, but he finds he doesn’t mind much.

Kissing Judal comes easily, just like their arguments always have. When one pushes, the other pushes back, one gives, the other takes, it’s a sort of unnamable synchronicity that’s come to them over the years. And just like bickering with Judal, Hakuryuu finds himself thoroughly enjoying kissing him, feeling the way the Magi gives under his touch and kisses back without trying to overpower him.

When they pull apart a second time, Hakuryuu lets out a soft breath and tilts his head so he can rest their foreheads together.

“You need to eat something.” he says, drawing things all the way back around to the original ignition point of this whole argument. “And you need rest.”

Judal, not for the first time, looks like he hasn’t been sleeping properly, and probably hasn’t been eating well either most likely. It was this that had started the argument, though it had somehow looped around to focus on Hakuryuu in the end. Usually a point of annoyance, today, he couldn’t find it in himself to mind. The end result was worth it.

Judal’s fingers tangle in the soft hair at the base of Hakuryuu’s skull, playing gently.

“Only if you cook me something.” he bargains, and for once it doesn’t come off sounding bratty or taunting.

Hakuryuu sighs and leans up, pressing another light kiss to his lips.

“Of course I will. But you eat it all, no arguments, understand?”

Judal just laughs. 


	5. "The Same Thing"

It’s funny how two people can appear so drastically different, but beneath the surface actually be incredibly similar. To the outward observer, there’s notmuch about them that seems altogether similar at all, and it’s this very fact that has kept them at odds for years. Generally, people are in no rush to look past their surface assumptions. For a very long time, Judal and Hakuryuu were the same.

It all begins with a simple conversation. A passing interaction that most might view as completely innocuous that clues them both into an underlying fact that they hadn’t previously been aware of.

Training tends to be long and tiresome on the body, more of a ware on one’s physical appearance than they are generally aware. It so happens that one day Hakuryuu is training, as he mostly is in his spare time, and his hair comes loose from its usual tight bun, a few strands falling haphazardly against the back of his neck, where he is unaware of them.

Judal, who seems to be growing more and more fond of observing the youngest Ren, is watching and when Hakuryuu pauses to take a few breaths, he lands near to him. He ducks around, raising a hand where the prince will see and noting;

“Your hair’s come loose.”

Almost compulsively, Hakuryuu leans away from him, taking a half step back like he’s being reached for despite the fact Judal hasn’t moved.

There is a half moment expression of surprise on Judal’s face, born of the fact that despite how he gripes and grumbles, Hakuryuu does not usually avoid his touch.

“Don’t like your hair being touched, Hakuryuu?” the Magi asks of him, and there’s no taunting tone for once.

“No.”

“Huh.” Judal tilts his head thoughtfully, reaching up and tugging on a piece of hair by his throat. “Neither do I.”

This offhanded comment is what leaves both prince and Magi in thought, first about hair, and then about one another. Up until that point, they’d thought themselves terribly dissimilar in everything but perhaps motivation for their rage. Could it be they were wrong?

They were.

Over the next few months, they began to note other things that between them, were the same. Little quirks and tastes and habits that were things they shared. They never talked about their observations, but they always noted them as they happened.

Here is a not entirely brief list of things they discovered were the same for both of them, in no particular order:

They both preferred their hair long, but disliked others touching it. Perhaps it was just a point of pride, or maybe they were both a bit too concerned with it being damaged, but they tended to keep others away from their long locks. Hakuryuu was the exception, but that was only when he had to get it cut, and Judal, well, he simply didn’t.

They each had a tendency to take long baths after tiresome days, soaking in a tub of hot water until every ache and unpleasant thought melted away entirely. Getting clean wasn’t even the goal a good ninety percent of the time, just soothing away the day’s irritations and sufferings. It was a small escape from their thoughts and they both enjoyed it.

They disliked bitter foods, and neither of them particularly enjoyed the effects of alcohol. These two factors went hand in hand, as alcohol tended to hold a bitter taste to it to begin with that didn’t really suit their palettes.

Bitter foods made them both grimace, and whereas Judal preferred sweet and Hakuryuu preferred savory, they’d both completely avoid anything sour or unsweetened. Alcohol was simply not their fancy, both disliking how it made them lose their general wits about them. Hakuryuu would indulge on occasion but Judal avoided it altogether, yet to find a wine that didn’t come across as sour to him.

In lieu of bitter foods, they both liked fresh fruit. Judal was, naturally, with a consistent fondness for peaches and Hakuryuu had a preference for pears.

They both had a preference for being outdoors when possible, and as they discovered one day, they both liked summer storms. Outside, it felt terribly more free than within the scathing halls of the imperial palace where all of their actions were watched and scrutinized. Even if it was a false sense of freedom, at least when they could see the sky they didn’t feel quite so trapped.

And of course, the thing they most had in common was the thing that they had both known to begin with. They both despised the empire they lived in. Despite knowing that this feeling was the same for both of them, it hadn’t really dawned on them that it was _shared_ until all the little nuances of their similarities came to light.

The more obvious it became that they were the same in all too many respects, the more they found themselves drawn to one another. It’s difficult to find reasons to dislike someone when you find yourself agreeing with a good amount of their choices and their motivations. Whatever edged animosity had existed between them slowly began to dissolve the more and more they noted things about one another.

To an outsider, it was difficult to discern the moment they both decided that things were simply _the same_ for both of them. At some point, each boy came to the conclusion that the only possible person who could understand their thinking was the other one, and they decided that suited them just fine.

This mutual understanding became known to the both of them on a day that was, essentially, the same as every other before it. In fact, it was almost the exact same as the day they’d noted their first similarity.

Hakuryuu pauses in his training, and Judal lands by him.

“You need better hairpins, Hakuryuu.” Judal notes, and his hand reaches out, lifting the loosed strands of midnight hair lightly. “Your hair keeps comin’ undone. It’s gonna be a pain when you’re really fighting.”

Hakuryuu does not pull away.

“I had a trim, I think it just needs to grow out a little more.” he sighs, reaching back and pushing his own hair up from the base of his skull.

His hand brushes Judal’s. He makes no comment.

“Just let it grow! Long hair is regal!”

“If I let it get as long as yours it really will be a pain.”

Judal laughs, and he tugs one of the feathery locks at the nape of Hakuryuu’s neck ever so lightly.

“I haven’t cut mine once in almost twenty years! It’ll take a while for yours to get _that_ long!”

“Mm. Maybe I will grow it.”

“It’ll suit you!”

And Hakuryuu, implicitly, trusts this judgment and does indeed begin to grow his hair out. Because Judal would not give him advice that may harm him, because he wouldn’t do that to himself. And between the two of them, there’s too much in common to have something effect one and not the other. 


	6. Change

Though change is a constant, it is a constant that often leaves one shaken and unsure of where they now stand in relation to where they were before. As if floating out at sea, their paths determined only by the whims of the wind, changes in life vary from unnoticeably small to so drastic they leave one clinging to something that is slipping out from beneath them in a raging storm.

Even someone who has grown used to the idea of the swiftly changing currents beneath their feet can be knocked off-balance or shaken, and Hakuryuu is one such person. Though life has again and again knocked him free of what small amount of solidity held him up, he’s always found a way to find stability again. But even so, change is often a difficult concept to grasp.

Sometimes, it catches one completely off guard. Sometimes, one forgets all too easily the shifts that have come when they were not paying attention.

In the mornings Hakuryuu wakes with warm breath on his neck and the weight of someone’s grasp around his waist. He will find his own arms gripping a body tightly against his and he will find himself completely comfortable in this situation, even if for a few seconds he isn’t sure who it is he’s holding.

 _When did this start?_ He finds himself thinking some mornings as lips brush his throat and a half-awake voice hums _good morning_ so sweetly it makes him want to melt. He knows that something changed, that somewhere in the past there was a moment where everything slipped out from under him and he went scrambling for a new kind of balance. And somewhere in there there was Judal, who smiles at him when Hakuryuu looks down and asks if he slept well.

Change is a difficult concept to grasp in that though he wakes beside him, though he pulls him close each night, Hakuryuu is still unsure when or how it was that things came to this. It was one thing to ask Judal to support him as his king, another to reach the heights they had in their power, their control. But this is different. This is something raw and new and strange that he’s never experienced before.

There is no pain that comes with this, if nothing, there is relief. An exhausting kind of happiness that eats away the darkness in his mind whenever Judal touches him. That becomes whenever Judal speaks to him. Looks at him. Exists near him.

So much has changed so very fast, his view of the world, his status, his abilities, his allies—Of all those things the change that strikes him again and again is the sheer magnitude of his feelings for his Magi. They came from nowhere with no warning, swiftly and with the power of rushing rapids, taking up space in his rotted heart and twisted mind as if they’d always been there and he’d just never noticed.

Maybe that was the case. Hakuryuu isn’t sure.

Just that one day he could stand to have Judal away from him and the next he could not. One moment he was content to keep the Magi at arm’s length and the next he would do anything to pull him as close as possible and taste every sinful thought they shared on his mouth.

What is this, he tries to ask himself. Is this _love_? But love feels too pedestrian a term to describe the sickening pit inside him that can only be filled with the knowledge that Judal will never leave him. This is something more carnal than that, more unstable, something that binds them so tightly together that he’s simply accepted that this is where they’ve ended up.

A few months ago, Hakuryuu knows the thought of waking beside Judal would have shocked him. The idea of pressing kisses along his cheeks to his neck, his shoulder, to wake him would have repulsed him at some point. And yet now Hakuryuu finds himself living for the way Judal says his name and reaches for him and smiles whenever he acknowledges his presence.

This change is difficult to understand, if he thinks about it too hard it’s like it all begins to unravel and he along with it. So he simply does not. He lets the idea of fate and destiny leave him completely and instead welcomes the uncertainty of change and whatever it dares to bring him.

He wakes one morning with Judal in his arms, the next he wakes with him laid on his chest, and one morning he wakes Judal by whispering how much he loves him against his ear. It does not matter how it came to this, because this is simply how it is.


	7. King and His Magi

The sun dipped behind the horizon line at last, taking with it the last of theevening’s warm glow and replacing it with the coolness of night. Within the confines of the palace, candles and lanterns had already been lit, lending visibility to the shadowed halls. In the emperor’s study, the candles had been lit almost an hour ago, and by now the wax had begun to pool in its bowl.

Hakuryuu undid his hair hours ago, when his day had unofficially ended and he’d been left to his own devices to work through the paperwork that had piled itself on his desk. He’d set his crown nearby, but now his hair fell about his shoulders, long and sleek and shining in the firelight. He hadn’t cut it in several months, it was due for a trim, but he kept putting it off because his lover spent hours at a time toying his fingers through the silken locks and Hakuryuu was, selfishly, addicted to the feeling.

And speaking of his lover… Hakuryuu raised his eyes from his work, glancing towards the window to his right. He had left it open despite the cool breeze wafting in because it was Judal’s favorite way to enter a room. Even after years, his Magi had a hard time keeping his feet on the ground. After so long of being chained down though, he couldn’t really blame him.

It had been hours since he’d last seen his Magi, but that was not unusual. They each had affairs to attend to day to day, running their Empire like the carefully crafted structure it was. In their own ways they relished in their work, undoing the years of damage done by Al-Thamen’s hand. Even Judal had grown into his position, reigning in his free-spirited nature enough to put his talents to use. Not so much for the sake of the Empire, more for the sake of his king.

Years had passed since they had first come together, chosen to stand side by side and reshape the world they’d been forced to exist in. They had succeeded, in a way, and they had wrought their wrath and vengeance on all who stood before them in the process. Some memories from that time are fond, others, he is not proud of.

But it has been a long time and things are different now. Especially between himself and his Magi. It had started back then, a coiling sort of tension between them that went unnamed, and over time it had grown and shed its skin and become something new. _Love_ was the word they used, but it was something deeper than that. Something that had existed long before they’d even noticed and tied them together deeper than simply their hearts.

Whatever it was, it was good, and it was theirs. The downside however was that long periods away from Judal tended to try Hakuryuu’s patience as far as it would go, and as night fell and the moon rose into the sky, he found himself growing more agitated.

He wasn’t concerned, Judal was more than capable of defeating any and everyone who stood in his way, but he was bothered by his presence no longer being beside him.

Hakuryuu turned his thoughts back to his work, quietly absorbing himself back into his papers, pen and ink neatly jotting down whatever information needed to be conveyed. His attention was waning however and he found himself reading over the same line several times over soon enough, a sure sign that any ability to finish this work now was gone.

“I keep telling you to light more than one candle, you’re going to hurt your eyes like this.”

The familiar voice breaks the monotony of the words in front of him and the emperor raises his eyes to meet the gaze of his Magi, who stands leaned against the window frame, smiling. Judal steps inside and shrugs off his traveling cloak, dropping it over a couch that rests against one wall on his way to his king.

“I’m sorry I was out so late.” he hums, sliding himself into the scarred king’s lap and settling himself there with all the ease of a cat.

Hakuryuu drops his pen near instantly, moving his arm to rest loosely about Judal’s waist instead. His wooden arm remains against the arm of his chair, held captive by Judal’s legs.

“And where were you for such a long time?” he asks, not expecting a straight answer in the least.

“Around.” comes the reply he expected. “Got all my official business done though, and I don’t have anything to do tomorrow.”

“I do.”

“That’s fine, I’ll just come along.”

“It will be quite dull I assure you.”

“Well that’s what I’m there for, right?”

Somehow, Judal’s hand has found its way into his hair and Hakuryuu finds himself relaxing as slim fingers play through his locks. Judal never tugs or knots his hair, just plays with it like an amused kitten might, sometimes just resting his fingers tangled in the mess of midnight strands. It feels, at the moment, like he is sliding his fingers through his hair, pausing occasionally to wind and unwind a certain piece around one finger.

“Have you eaten?” he inquires, making no sign he wishes for Judal to stop his playing.

“Yeah, I ate when I was out. Why, did you wait for me?”

“No, I assumed you would.”

Enough talking. At least for the moment. The emperor tilts his head and Judal smiles wide, leaning in close enough to brush their lips together. His hand stills in Hakuryuu’s hair, gripping gently when he tightens his hold on the Magi’s waist.

They lean into each other, kissing slow and soft like they’ve been apart for years and have forgotten exactly how. The seriousness of their positions and the stresses of the day melt away and the world narrows down to just the two of them and nothing else. Just as it should be.

With the outside world removed from their thoughts, magi and king sit together, enjoying one another’s presence after so long apart. They exchange leisurely kisses, making small conversation between them while Judal’s hand resumes toying with Hakuryuu’s hair. How long they sit there together is anyone’s guess, and they couldn’t care less for the time.

“Would you like a bath?” the emperor hums idly, pressing a soft kiss to the corner of his lover’s mouth.

Judal hum and returns the kiss to his scarred cheek, just as softly. “With you?”

“But of course.”

“Then yes please.”

A smile curves the emperor’s lips and with a swift sort of grace he stands, the Magi’s position in his lap making it all too easy to scoop him up into his arms. Judal makes a small sound of surprise, then laughs, looping his arms around his king’s shoulders.

“I can walk just fine, y’know.” he teases.

“You’ll only float.” Hakuryuu replies, already crossing the space between his desk and door. “Allow me the small pleasure of carrying you.”

“But of course, my king.” a light kiss lands on his cheek. “I’d never deny you anything.”

And he wouldn’t, and that is one of many reasons that he loves Judal so dearly.

The palace halls are empty this late, any guards doing their rounds make themselves scarce in the presence of their emperor and his magi, knowing full well that at this time of night they have time only for each other. The warm candlelight follows them, lighting their way from one place to another and creating a gentle ambiance they both find relaxing. It doesn’t come as much of a surprise that the bathroom is the same.

A bath has already been drawn, as it always is just in case and it takes only a touch of Judal’s hand to warm the water till it is steaming. Candles and the soft smell of flowers greet them and any small remaining tension dissipates almost immediately.

They undress each other, but not with any intent towards intimacy. Hakuryuu removes his sash and turns so Judal can slide his robe off his shoulders, folding it neatly while he pulls off the layers beneath it. Judal shrugs off his robe and while he undoes his under clothes, Hakuryuu pulls the ribbon from his hair and begins to undo the long plait carefully.

Soon enough they’re both bare and slipping into the tub, Hakuryuu first and then Judal at the end opposite him. Once his king is settled, the Magi moves himself forward and lays against his chest, long, dark hair splaying out in the water and over the edge of the tub behind him. Hakuryuu thinks he looks like some sort of otherworldly entity like this, too unique and beautiful to simply be human.

For a long while they both just relax, the hot water easing away any aches and sore muscles, the day melting away from them at last. Hakuryuu’s flesh hand passes up and down Judal’s back, stroking him almost like one would a cat and reveling in how the Magi rests against him. Even for one so carefree, Judal is always guarded. But not with him.

Judal lays gentle kisses along Hakuryuu’s collarbone, up his neck and the emperor lolls his head back obligingly, letting out a soft sigh of contentment. Nothing feels better than being adored by his lover, and Judal is nothing but happy to layer more kisses over his king’s skin.

Eventually the kisses stop and Judal sits up, reaching for a washcloth and soap. He washes himself off and Hakuryuu watches, a hand resting on his thigh, his eyes tracing over the dips and contours of his lover’s body he knows so well by now. Judal is beautiful, always has been.

“Where did this come from?” he asks idly, reaching up and touching a bruise on the Magi’s shoulder.

Judal glances at it and then casts a smile at his emperor.

“Nowhere worth mentioning.” Which means that who, or whatever harmed him has been eliminated, and Hakuryuu should not worry.

The emperor accepts this answer with a soft hum.

Hakuryuu washes himself next, and while he does Judal takes the time to begin washing his hair. It came as a pleasant surprise, when years ago he had learned that his Magi’s point of pride was his hair. He took incredibly good care of it, careful to trim dead ends and keep it washed and brushed properly.

He still keeps it so extensively long it almost brushes the ground, but that’s how it’s always been, and that’s how it suits him.

Once Hakuryuu has rinsed his body, he reaches for Judal. It’s a privilege he’s earned over the years, to help Judal tend to his hair, and he takes a certain pride in that fact. Even though it takes almost a half hour between them to wash and rinse it all, it’s worth it for the simple experience of being so close to his lover, doing something so mundane.

At times he tugs softly on the inky locks in his hand and draws Judal in close enough to kiss him, the sheer amount of affection he holds for this one man threatening to burst if he doesn’t.

Judal washes Hakuryuu’s hair for him, careful of the burned side of his face and his eyes, nothing but gentle with how his hands work out the occasional knot. They remain in the tub a while longer once that is done, enjoying the last of the warm water and exchanging gentle kisses for no real reason besides that they want to.

They leave the water when they feel like it, drying off and dressing themselves in silk night robes that are waiting on a small table for them. Judal dries his hair with magic, because otherwise it would take hours to dry completely, and he dries Hakuryuu’s as well because he can. The trip back to their shared room is not a long one, and it is made in companionable silence, hands linked.

Inside their room is dark, only two candles on either side of their bed lit and the only other light coming from the moon that hangs high in the sky outside their large windows. Neither of them bother to light more, content in the half-darkness as it is.

Judal settles on the foot of the bed, and Hakuryuu watches as his lover begins to brush his hair ever so carefully, working out any tangles with his fingers. He joins him eventually, taking a section of soft strands and drawing a brush through them as gently as he can. This too is a small pleasure the emperor indulges himself in.

“Would you like to leave your hair down tonight?”

The Magi considers this, his fingers passing through his hair slowly and seeking out any remaining knots, which he does not seem to find.

“…No I don’t think so.” he replies after a moment.

“As you wish.”

Once they are done brushing his hair, Judal sits still while Hakuryuu loosely braids the waterfall of black locks. His fingers brush the back of Judal’s neck when he is done and he leans over, kissing the space where his shoulder meets his neck. Though he does not see, he knows Judal smiles.

The candles are blown out and curtains drawn and soon they are both tucked into their bed beneath the comforter and sheets. Through the gaps in the curtains there is enough light to just barely illuminate Judal from the back, surrounding him with a pale, white light that only serves to make him look more ethereal. Hakuryuu lays there, staring at him contently, like one might a favored work of art.

Some nights, perhaps most nights, their hands find their way beneath fabric and onto warm skin and they both fall into a familiar pleasure of savoring one another’s bodies. Sometimes it is slow, some nights it is rough, some nights fast and others gentle and never, ever is it regretted in the morning. The time shared here is only theirs.

Tonight, Judal tucks himself against Hakuryuu’s chest, resting his head beneath his chin and tilting enough he can softly kiss the base of his throat. Hakuryuu’s arms slide around his lover, holding him gently against his own body. He kissed his forehead, one hand trailing fingertips along the curve of Judal’s spine.

They fall asleep like this, held close in one another’s arms where the rest of the world can neither see, nor reach them. The emperor and his Magi, kept close to one another even in sleep, so that come morning they can assure themselves that they are both still there, together, where they should be.


End file.
